As my husband and I get ready to launch our children into the world, the upcoming empty nest phase has been on my mind quite a bit. A friend recommended Jill Savage’s book, “Empty Nest, Full Life: Discovering God’s Best for Your Next,” and it turned out to be exactly the kind of companion I needed.
Savage’s book is a quick and easy read, but it offers plenty of substance to sit with and pray over. While Savage writes primarily for women, the core ideas are sturdy enough that men can also find a lot of value in her perspective.
The book is organized into two clear sections that mirror the emotional journey of this season: letting go of the old and grabbing hold of the new. It is a thoughtful guide for anyone looking to navigate the quiet of an empty house with a heart full of hope.
The Weight of Letting Go
The first half of the book focuses on six things that parents need to release: expectations, guilt, opinions, traditions, the problems of our children, and idols. This part of the journey is often the most difficult because it requires us to step back and allow our children to become their own people, separate from our daily influence.
It is a daunting process to watch them walk their own paths, and parents are often tempted to take on blame that does not belong to them or to place requirements on their children that were never asked for. By working through these chapters, many of the common hurdles that create tension in these adult relationships are dealt with in a way that feels very kind and restorative.
I found the chapter on expectations to be particularly helpful. We often carry a set of quiet assumptions about how our children’s lives will look or how our family traditions will be maintained. When our adult children choose to do things differently than we did, it can feel like a personal loss.
Savage suggests that by letting go of these rigid blueprints, we actually make room for a deeper kind of joy. We will stop measuring our children by our own standards and start appreciating the unique individuals they have become. Similarly, letting go of the guilt of past mistakes allows us to be fully present in the relationship we have now. When we stop looking backward at what we might have done wrong, we can look forward with a sense of peace.
Relinquishing control over our children’s problems is another major theme. It is our natural instinct to want to protect them from hardship, but Savage reminds us that their challenges are often the very things God uses to grow their character. Learning to be a supportive observer, rather than a full-time fixer, is a significant shift, but it is one that brings a lot of relief. It allows us to trade our constant worry for a steady trust in God’s care for them.
Embracing the Next Chapter
The second half of the book deals with what we should grab hold of: a new mission field, new passions, new friendships, the health of our marriage, God’s hand, and our “encore.” After eighteen or more years of dedicated shepherding, the sudden silence of the home can be a shock to the system. There are suddenly significant hours of emptiness in the week that used to be filled with the needs of our children. If these hours do not get filled with something purposeful, it is easy for a parent to feel lost or adrift. Savage encourages us to see this not as a void, but as an opportunity for renewal.
For many, this is a beautiful season to invest back into our marriages. When life is busy with school schedules and sports, the husband and wife relationship can sometimes take a back seat. The empty nest offers a sacred time to reconnect and rediscover one another. It is also a time to cultivate new passions or hobbies that may have been tucked away for decades. Whether it is learning a new skill or finding a new way to serve in the community, these pursuits bring a fresh sense of energy to our daily lives. Finding joy in these new rhythms is not about replacing our children, but about honoring the life God has given us to live.
Savage’s concept of the “encore” is a lovely way to think about this stage of life. It suggests that our best work is not necessarily behind us; it has simply changed form. Grabbing hold of God’s hand more tightly during this transition is perhaps the most vital advice in the book. As we lean into him, we will find that the quiet of the house is not something to be feared, but a space where we can hear his voice more clearly. This spiritual growth becomes the foundation for all the new adventures that wait for us in the years ahead.
A Resource for Reflection
“Empty Nest, Full Life” offers great concepts that serve as a wonderful starting point for any parent in this transition. The details are a little light at times, but since everyone’s family situation is different, this is likely for the best. Trying to address every single challenge a parent might face is an impossible task, and what one person finds helpful, another might find to be a waste of paper. By focusing on high-level principles, Savage allows each reader to apply the truths to their own unique circumstances.
Each chapter ends with a Bible truth, a suggestion for further exploration, and a sample prayer. These sections make the book feel very practical and grounded. The prayers are particularly helpful for those days when the transition feels a bit overwhelming and you aren’t quite sure how to express your heart to God. They serve as a gentle reminder that we are being shepherded just as much as we once shepherded our children.
I would highly recommend reading this book and then taking the time to really reflect on each topic. Do not feel like you have to rush through it to get to the end. Instead, sit with the questions and the prayers. Consider which areas you are holding onto too tightly and what new missions God might be placing in front of you. The empty nest is a significant change, but it is also a season where we can experience God’s goodness in a whole new way. Read this book, and give yourself the grace to discover the full life that is still waiting for you!
Subscribe
If you enjoyed this post and wish to receive more Christian content, feel free to subscribe to my newsletters!
More from Joyful Moments in Christ
Keep reading Joyful Moments in Christ! Here are some more Book Reviews that you might find interesting:
English Standard Version (ESV): Unless otherwise noted, scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. The ESV text may not be quoted in any publication made available to the public by a Creative Commons license. The ESV may not be translated in whole or in part into any other language.
Joyful Moments in Christ 